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Follow Friday: @FakeAPStylebook on Twitter

January 8th, 2010

It even looks like Strunk and White.

One of the more inventive and enjoyable of the “meme” style twitter accounts is the one that launched to great fanfare during the start of my Twitterati tenure.  The Fake AP Stylebook brings far more consistency than @FakeMTA and far more wit than @ShitMyDadSays.

Functionally, what it does is post several witty style rules and best practices throughout the day.  These include general publication rules to writing and journalism dos and don’ts.

While sometimes they dip into something topical, it’s the random ones which you’d never think of that get me every time.  Whoever is penning this is quite the clever one.

It doesn’t hurt that I’ve always had a Large Hadron for writing guides, though I seemingly never pay any heed to what I learned in them.  Strunk and White is one of those things that no child should be without.  In fact, I’m hoping one of my Christian friends will start a charity to help deliver copies of the book to needy orphans in Uganda.


Some of my more recent favorite entries have ranged from the obscure/out of left field…

IT’S – contraction of “it is.” ITS – possessive form of “it.” ITS’ – the most horrible thing you could ever possibly do.

Typing in all capital letters is perceived to be shouting, so only do it when addressing foreigners or the elderly.

Avoid using the term ‘white paper.’ Use ‘Wall Street Journal’ instead.

to the pop reference…

Quotes from Kirk Cameron are always unnecessary.

Note to film reviewers: The studio’s PR people may call it “squeakquel” but you were raised better than that.

to the somewhat uncouth…

Avoid impacting colons by choosing words that are rich in fiber.

to the “ripped from the headlines” (as in: someone actually used Heywood and got it on TV last week)…

When interviewing Satan remember that he is the Prince of Lies and will tell you his name is actually “Heywood Jablomi.”

When reporting on the War on Christmas, avoid giving away troop movements or revealing supply line locations.

to the just plain funny…

The proper synonym for “Urban Lifestyle Center” is “Walmart.”

A “beard” is a woman who pretends to be romantically involved with a gay man. Ex: [REDACTED BY OUR LAWYERS]

These guys have some skill.  Make sure to follow them.  In any event, if Look At This Fracking Hipster and Shit My Dad Says can get book deals, I imagine we’ll be treated to a soft-cover Fake AP pretty darn soon.

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